Just because...

...I was inspired today. Today, I decided to start. To make some kind of attempt to break a cycle. That ever spinning cycle of procrastination. Will start tomorrow, will try tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...round and round it goes. For tomorrow always becomes today and that which was to be done is never begun. So, today, I decided to start. To stick a rod in the spoke of the ever turning procrastination wheel and actually start. To write. To explore this...hobby? interest? vocation? gift? curiosity? monstrosity? I don't know. I don't claim to know. I'm just beginning. They say a journey of a thousand pages begin with a word. Well, I say that...the original saying refers to miles and steps and that's not the gig here. Anyway...it's going to be an adventure. For now that we have begun, we must hang on. Continue...not a strength of mine to persevere at a never ending task. For me, a lifetime begins and ends today. Tomorrow is an eternity away. I'm growing out of it though. Learning to look ahead. The key, I've learned, is to do it piecemeal. Take a bite at a time, a step at a time, a word at a time. Don't try to write a whole book, or in my case, an entire library, today. So...this should be enough today. Side bar: when is enough enough? Why is it difficult to say, "enough", sometimes. I find that I have a fear that I may be saying "enough" when it's too little, but never too much. It's like, go ahead and keep piling on the whatever on my plate till it's overflowing and then, maybe, that's enough. Maybe. Is there a correlation between procrastinators and over achievers? But, then again, what does one achieve, talkless of overachieve, when one puts everything off till next time? Perhaps, we achieve in one area of life and procrastinate the rest? In my case, achieve in medicine and procrastinate everything else. I think I achieved in my field because I HAD to. There was forced structure that made me do A, B, and C. Had it been like,"So, you want to be a doctor? Ok, here are the books, the tape, the exam. Good luck!". Then fuggedaboutit. Yours truly would be selling akara in the market. Or maybe, even that would be "next time". Sheeeeeeeeee! (my pseudo swear word because I'm saved, you know.) God knows how I would be eating. So, this is my theory. Well, along those lines of thinking, I would have had to enlist in the military. I mean, if the issue is the need for structure. Problem with that option is that I'm not too good with authority. Especially if I think they are dumb. Also, I hate failure, so I would not find the inevitable dishonorable discharge funny in any way, shape, or form, so why put myself through that. And so were we are. Right now, I am procrastinating preparing tomorrow's meals and clearing my sink which is holding up my bed time. This puts me at risk of not getting enough sleep which puts me at risk of a not very pleasant day. And I have clinic tomorrow, which requires at least half my brain to be awake. So...there you have it. Like I was about to conclude, enough today. . . Next time, we will further explore this procrastination animal and what the deal really is. Well, what I THINK the deal really might possibly probably be. Maybe.