Tomorrow

I have to admit, I was tempted. Yes, indeed! There I was on the mountain top and the enemy came seductively dressed as a clock to say, "hey little one, cutie pie, you don't have to write your blog tonight...yes, you didn't do it last night...so what difference does another night make? Go on, do it ....tomorrow." TOMORROW!!!! As in "on the morning" as in "on the never". Loooord!!! So, I rebuke the enemy , "Get thee behind me, ye vile spirit of laziness and postponement...it shall be done today!!!" Live in the present...hope for the future. Okay, so here I am. And let me just add this: you know, I do get overwhelmed. Yes, indeed I do. I get overwhelmed by the thoughts that race through my mind as I contemplate the vast matter occupying my cerebrum, thoughts falling over themselves to be poured through my fingers on the keyboard or page, if I were writing by pen...a mental flood...no dam, no dam, it's too much! Even at this moment, there is so much that I want to write about: from a case I encountered in clinic regarding the possibility of an STD and pregnancy in a bisexual teenager who seems to be totally clueless of the consequences of her actions, despite my best efforts to preach the good news of closing her legs and opening her mind while trying to appear cool and hip, but feeling like a grandmother approaching a computer for the first time - what tha what? Then, there is my experience of every time I think I know the answer, I am reminded I know nothing...especially when it comes to judging others, like today at women's bible study when...Then, my conversation with a new friend I made in the hospital regarding approaching my job as my ministry. Which will open the can of worms of my journey to finding my purpose and what that's all about. Which is related to the discussion on entrepreneurship vs employment. Which has to do with the concept of setting goals: what mine are and should I even set them if I'm trusting God with my life, its ins and outcomes? Then there's the bucket list and the things I want to learn and do. Don't forget we are supposed to delve in the many layers of my first post about my brother's graduation, as well as explore the concept of procrastination a little further (I did some reading - brought up a few issues)

SO WHERE DO I START????!!!!!! And don't say, "just pick one and take it from there..." Then, I worry that I will never get to all the others and I will be missing something and life will keep happening and stuff will keep occurring which will need to be written about and I will never catch up and I w*&%$#@$^^@!%^&*^%$^&^^%%%%^^&&...............................

deep breath

Peace be still

my soul quieten within me
allow the rain fall in elegant drops
wave after wave let it come in
to clean and to moisten
make new make soft make strong
the spirit that was restless
wounded
crying
let the rain fall in elegant drops
with purpose with delight
wave after wave
determined to get to the root
and make growth an eventuality
my growth a reality
new, clean, strong
my spirit
at peace

Every now and then, one needs a reminder to calm the frack down. I just wrote this poem. Coincidentally, it's raining outside. His peace He gave to me, His peace he leaves me. I receive that peace and now, I shall exercise one day at a time, one thing at a time, one blog at a time, one word at a time.

Suffice it for now to rant. Let me know ideas you have to address this matter, if it should even be address or simply explored or........

As I research relevant pictures to post on this blog, I came across 2 inspiring blogs: 1. do the most important thing first. ask yourself daily, "what 3 things can I do today to have the greatest impact on my....?" and you can ask what is the one thing you can do to have the greatest impact on a specific area of life: relationships, academics, community service, work, business, spirituality, health, wealth, etc? A second blog addressed the question, "what do you do when you know what to do but don' t want to do it?" Do it anyway.

What 3 things can you do today to have the greatest impact in your life? What specific area of your life?

Just because...

...I was inspired today. Today, I decided to start. To make some kind of attempt to break a cycle. That ever spinning cycle of procrastination. Will start tomorrow, will try tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...round and round it goes. For tomorrow always becomes today and that which was to be done is never begun. So, today, I decided to start. To stick a rod in the spoke of the ever turning procrastination wheel and actually start. To write. To explore this...hobby? interest? vocation? gift? curiosity? monstrosity? I don't know. I don't claim to know. I'm just beginning. They say a journey of a thousand pages begin with a word. Well, I say that...the original saying refers to miles and steps and that's not the gig here. Anyway...it's going to be an adventure. For now that we have begun, we must hang on. Continue...not a strength of mine to persevere at a never ending task. For me, a lifetime begins and ends today. Tomorrow is an eternity away. I'm growing out of it though. Learning to look ahead. The key, I've learned, is to do it piecemeal. Take a bite at a time, a step at a time, a word at a time. Don't try to write a whole book, or in my case, an entire library, today. So...this should be enough today. Side bar: when is enough enough? Why is it difficult to say, "enough", sometimes. I find that I have a fear that I may be saying "enough" when it's too little, but never too much. It's like, go ahead and keep piling on the whatever on my plate till it's overflowing and then, maybe, that's enough. Maybe. Is there a correlation between procrastinators and over achievers? But, then again, what does one achieve, talkless of overachieve, when one puts everything off till next time? Perhaps, we achieve in one area of life and procrastinate the rest? In my case, achieve in medicine and procrastinate everything else. I think I achieved in my field because I HAD to. There was forced structure that made me do A, B, and C. Had it been like,"So, you want to be a doctor? Ok, here are the books, the tape, the exam. Good luck!". Then fuggedaboutit. Yours truly would be selling akara in the market. Or maybe, even that would be "next time". Sheeeeeeeeee! (my pseudo swear word because I'm saved, you know.) God knows how I would be eating. So, this is my theory. Well, along those lines of thinking, I would have had to enlist in the military. I mean, if the issue is the need for structure. Problem with that option is that I'm not too good with authority. Especially if I think they are dumb. Also, I hate failure, so I would not find the inevitable dishonorable discharge funny in any way, shape, or form, so why put myself through that. And so were we are. Right now, I am procrastinating preparing tomorrow's meals and clearing my sink which is holding up my bed time. This puts me at risk of not getting enough sleep which puts me at risk of a not very pleasant day. And I have clinic tomorrow, which requires at least half my brain to be awake. So...there you have it. Like I was about to conclude, enough today. . . Next time, we will further explore this procrastination animal and what the deal really is. Well, what I THINK the deal really might possibly probably be. Maybe.

New Chapter

I found an old post, written in 2008, never published. This will serve as fodder for quite a few future posts (and the possibilities abound)...stay tuned.


"My brother, Aham, just graduated from University of Michigan majoring in Biology and minor in African American studies. The ceremonies were fascinating, in as much as I hesitate at the prospect of anything ceremonial. I am truly no fan of ceremony and fanfare so much so that I would happily skip my own graduation but for my Nigerian parents, particularly my mother, who will not only disown me but make some undesirable pronouncements concerning my welfare, should I commit such an atrocity. In any event, I did go to both graduation ceremonies today: the first, the University's official commencement ceremony; the second - Black Celebratory, the ceremony to recognize the success of being Black on a Maize and Blue campus.

I learned a thing or two in the morning. The student speaker told a story that illustrated the perseverance of the wolverine - the UM mascot - where it keeps trying even though it fails. He mentioned that there is a difference between failure and a failure of expectations. Failure of expectations - That will the topic of a future post. A truly profound thought, it is. The Key note speaker expressed that we should anticipate and embrace change, we should follow our passion.

And so, my brother starts a new chapter. I, will follow in his younger footsteps in June, when I graduate from medical school."